What can this thing possibly mean... 'Make myself better'? One more thing that has been forced upon us.
Read somewhere: "I don't change, I just become more of myself." That is the only criteria of being better, according to me. Some people see their aim as becoming a better person day by day. But I am quite disappointed to see that their criteria is as defined by others.
Either you are Optimistic, or you are not.
Either you respect somebody, or you don't.
Ether you love somebody or you don't.
and so on. These are the things which your 'heart' tells you. Or in correct words, your 'intuition' tells you. You just 'know' what you want! These 'wants' make us 'us'.
But we have to force ourselves to be ourselves. What could be worse.
PS: One more thing that be done, according to me, is to be a bit more 'logical'. To not have contradicting beliefs. i.e. To believe in only the things which can be deduced logically. If you don't do it, you already contradict yourself.
The
only thing that I can be, is myself! How can better or worse be defined?
The problem is, from the start itself we are given the valuable advice
of being a better person, and some points which I must follow for
being better. I should think this, I shouldn't think that, and all
that. That takes away what I am, from me. If we were left undisturbed
since our birth, not a single thought to pollute our mind, and we were
left to just learn from our own experiences, then we would have been the
best persons, and not just the better. But I don't know how to do that,
doesn't seem practical sometimes.
A person who doesn't care about others is not worse than the one who does, a person who cries when he sees somebody else in pain is no better than the one who might just laugh. But we have not been taught so. People have bent our minds in a direction where they wanted, whatever might be their purpose, but our minds are now at unrest. They have defined 'good things' and 'bad things' for us. And, alas, we have followed.
A person who doesn't care about others is not worse than the one who does, a person who cries when he sees somebody else in pain is no better than the one who might just laugh. But we have not been taught so. People have bent our minds in a direction where they wanted, whatever might be their purpose, but our minds are now at unrest. They have defined 'good things' and 'bad things' for us. And, alas, we have followed.
Read somewhere: "I don't change, I just become more of myself." That is the only criteria of being better, according to me. Some people see their aim as becoming a better person day by day. But I am quite disappointed to see that their criteria is as defined by others.
Either you are Optimistic, or you are not.
Either you respect somebody, or you don't.
Ether you love somebody or you don't.
and so on. These are the things which your 'heart' tells you. Or in correct words, your 'intuition' tells you. You just 'know' what you want! These 'wants' make us 'us'.
But we have to force ourselves to be ourselves. What could be worse.
PS: One more thing that be done, according to me, is to be a bit more 'logical'. To not have contradicting beliefs. i.e. To believe in only the things which can be deduced logically. If you don't do it, you already contradict yourself.
Kuch bhi :|
ReplyDeleteOh God why?
ReplyDeletebas besti mat kiya karo yaar :-/
ReplyDeleteMy criteria of being a better person is including habits which will in future help me earn respect , friends and be successful in my field of interest/career. How is that wrong ? or is that wrong ? and many times ( not always , and it also depends oin your parents ) , what they is right (and i am not talking about your neighbor or something like that ) because of there self less love and experience. But you need to think before taking the advice . Also they might be saying something out of love to you but might not benefit in the long run , in that case do what you deem fit but respect there feelings . i dont care what others say about being better .
ReplyDelete"I person who doesn't care about others is not worse than the one who does, a person who cries when he sees somebody else in pain is no better than the one who might just laugh. But we have not been taught so. People have bent our minds in a direction where they wanted, whatever might be their purpose, but our minds are now at unrest. They have defined 'good things' and 'bad things' for us. And, alas, we have followed."
ReplyDeletereally ? you got real fucked up with some issue , and i come , poke fun and laugh , how will you feel ?
The 'intentions' of others are usually for our benefit. But might not be right thing for us.
ReplyDeleteAdvice could be like this:
IF you WANT to be successful, then according to my experience/opinion, you should do blah blah.
IF you WANT people to like you, then you should be caring, kind, selfless etc.
That condition at the beginning is the most important. If you are a rapist from the inside, but you want people to like you, you might have to not be yourself. Depends on which 'want' is more. To be yourself and rape, or to be liked. In either case, you are fulfill what you want. But we don't usually care about that. (maybe you do.. and you are not the one i was talking about in the passage :P)
All suggestions that I have seen do not contain the condition. They are just orders, and people continuously keep correcting us time to time if we don't follow those orders.
(dekha jaye to i am also doing the same thing, i am asking you to do what i think you should do!)
@ankur according to you, making people feel sad is a bad thing. A person who does it is 'worse'. But what argument can you make and ask somebody else to agree with you?
ReplyDeletewell , what argument do you want ? , for what ?
ReplyDelete"making people feel sad is a bad thing" prove it.
ReplyDeletewill do it in person , just remember to bring this issue up.abhi kaafi likhna padega
ReplyDelete1.What people say and what people want you to do,may or may not be right, but its up to you, whether or not you wish to follow the same..If you like it, follow it, if you don't, ignore!
ReplyDelete2.If i hurt someone today,the guilt kills me,it really does..So,i apologize n no of times n try n work upon it..However,i've seen ppl who are so heartless that they don't even care to accept that they were wrong,even when they know their actions/words made me cry,now why shouldn't I feel they are worse? I'm not thinking so coz society says so, I feel so for its an obvious reaction on my part!
3. I agree with Khurana..completely..
4. Finally,there is nothing wrong in making yourself a better person,as long as the "criteria" is defined by you,your experiences, n what you learn yourself..However,you may be influenced by what others tell you..That is, again,your decision!
Cheers !!
1) exactly
ReplyDelete2) I hurt someone, i also feel bad. that is automatic. But if somebody doesn't feel it automatically, and does it just because he thinks he should, then that is something i mind. Or if he has an appropriate reason, such as rising in the eyes of others, that is also justified. When I say I mind, i am saying that it is illogical to do so. when I say I don;t mind, it doesn't mean that I can;t hate the person, it just means that he is justifying himself.
And somebody's actions making you cry, cannot be the criteria for somebody being heartless or not. The only criteria that can be acceptable to all is justification/de-justification of his actions.
3)I don't :D
4) I agree.
I'm not saying that the person must be heartless just coz he hurt me, the word is applicable when he can't justify his actions and does not even care to apologize, even after getting to know my reaction..
ReplyDeleteSuch a case, of hurting a person and not accepting your mistakes and not even justifying.. is (according to me) wrong..
P.S. ye blogspot.in kaise ho gaya all of a sudden :-/ mere jin posts pe bahut sare fb likes hote the, unpe "Be the first of your friends to like this" aa raha hai.. one can see the likes only when one signs up us particular post pe :-/ Whats wrong with blogger :-/
that would be ego problem na.. and shayad heart is the creator of ego.. :P
ReplyDeleteindia ka samaan alag kar dia hoga shayad...
Hi Neeraj!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time on your blog. I found it very interesting because these are questions I often ask myself too... why we have been trained to believe that some things are correct and others are not, and we never really question them. Your blog is fascinating and I am now following you.
I recently started a new blog about books and book reviews. please have a look at Hello Novoneel,
I'm a new visitor to your blog, and the first thing that appealed to me was that the look totally reflected the style of your writing, soothing and yet intriguing. I just read 3 posts, and I find your writing beautiful. Am now following you.
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Please visit it, and if you like it, please become a follower. I am looking forward to feedback from you to help me improve my style. You have a lucid way of thinking, and I hope you'll be able to throw insight on how I can do better.
Hoping you like my blog as much as i liked yours!
Amritorupa Kanjilal
Sabkuch galat laga mujhe to.. learning from others' mistakes is a good thing. If you were allowed to just 'be' right from the beginning then you probably wouldn't have survived as you would have thrown all the food served to you, would have sat on a stove, would have eaten mud (things a kid is capable of doing). Even if you had survived it would have been like re inventing the wheel, in short pointless. Your parents tell you stuff because they are similar to you and they know you too well (remember you share the same genes), they don't want you to make the mistakes they made, of course you would make some anyway. I would also like to add, anything illegal is illegal, you cannot mess with the law. It WILL tell you to do/ not do some things and you HAVE TO follow. Heard about symbiotic relationship? There is a reason why humans live in communities, it is because it is more efficient and it works. It has been evolved over many millenia.
ReplyDeleteFirstly I meant being symbiotic but not telling other people what to do. and we are born in a modern age where wheel has been invented, and parents are for being parents (and monetary help :P) They can tell us what to do until a certain point of time, until we are in full control of our heart and mind and we can decide everything for ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI am not saying learning from somebody else's mistake is wrong. That advice is for normal decision making, where your heart is not involved. You can't change your nature. you can't be optimistic if you are not! Somebody would say you 'should' be optimistic. But it can't work! can it? I think it is embedded.
Ans yes law is necessary, because it forces people not to indulge in others' lives. Since i don't want to be killed, I can't expect it if I go on killing people.
And living in society doesn't mean that people will give advice to each other. We just make some adjustments because we want to/have to live together.
lol..it just seems you don't like to be given advice. I can understand, it gets bugging sometimes. Some people(like 90%) are capable of change and some aren't. But if someone changes it's only because the person himself/herself wants to change, not because someone asked him/her to. But parents can't see their children's talent getting wasted and they feel helpless and it's hard for them to realize that there is nothing really that they can do about it.
ReplyDeleteI am not talking about the regular advice yaar. I am talking about what we 'feel'.
ReplyDeleteif you(or I) are a pessimistic, you will be one. no matter what.
Nobody can ask you to 'love' people. If you do, you do. else you don't.
Nobody can ask you to 'feel bad' when you see a dead body on the road.
Such things a re not in control! they are involuntary
PS: You are right that I am not fond of advice. unless asked, and i seldom ask. but that is not the issue i am concerned about. Everybody knows about that.