Happiness is real, When shared.

There was this movie, 'Into the Wild'.  Forced me to accept this truth. Almost two years now.

I am Above

(That song is just because I have stolen the title from this one. This doesn't have anything to do with the post.)

That happiness we feel, when we are feeling proud of ourselves. Isn't that proud feeling only because people admire it? So we feel happy because we did what other people wanted us to do?
I feel proud (only) when I do what I want to, I say what I want to. And I am able to prove myself right on this, i.e., I am able to prove to people that I am right. (Or if somebody else proves me wrong, I feel proud in accepting it :P) And so on, so many reasons.
(I don't think that it is hypocrisy... coz that is what 'I' want, and not what 'others' want..)
But why do I feel proud? Aisa kya ho gaya? And what exactly is this feeling of being proud? Doesn't being better than others at a thing makes you feel proud?
(Here, proud is just the feel good thing. It is not ghamand. Ghamand is totally denied! Completely illogical!)

Chalo,  there might be happiness in being better than others, and that proud feeling, might be a feeling, might not need explanation.

But I have a different problem. I have seen people fight over things, feeling their ego hurt over things, the things for which they are "proved" not to be better than somebody else. It becomes not about being better, but about showing that I am better. Ye kya baat hui! That means that you are trying to be somebody who you are not!  Worst thing ever...

If you are better, you'll be able to prove that you are. If you are not, you know that you are not.. why to prove the opposite! But ego takes over.. what to do... But I think it is a waste of time.

I have done it. As far as I know, I don't do  it now. I sometimes want to do it, but I try to realize what I am doing. And of course, if there might have been times in recent history when I have not realized it, I don't remember.

What is Passion?

There are things that we like doing. What I have seen, is that anything that I am good at, is something I like to do. (12th standard, self experience: So long as I am able to solve my integration questions, I was in love with integration, the moment I couldn't do them, I started getting bored.) But I just like it. The happiness I get from it is that of being able to do it. Its not the happiness of doing it. If it involves people, then it is might be the happiness of being with the people and doing it, or the 'showing' of being better at something, or 'showing' to be able to do it...

But I have seen things that people 'love' 'doing', even if they don't show it to anybody. They really do feel happy. They feel happier when they share this happiness with other people. That happiness is not of 'showing' or 'being better', its just the happiness of sharing your happiness!

And I have also seen this thing, that people love to see other people happy, whether they know them or not (given that former people don't hate he latter people!) If doing something makes somebody happy, then we also love to feel that happiness, through our sense organs. I mean watching, feeling, listening etc.. There are good singers, good dancers, but we don't really like them until they themselves are feeling happy! We might appreciate the talent or the hard-work, but we don't feel happy while watching them.
If we are feeling their happiness, then we might just call that thing their passion!

I used to be confused about passion. That if I am good at something, and I try and keep becoming better at it, it is passion, or ,something is my passion, and since it is passion I keep doing it again and again many times so I become better at it through time... Now I think it is the latter one.

I have seen passionate singers, dancers, talkers, coders and techies (I am not sure of the last two, whether it really is their happiness or not.) I hope to see passions in other art forms too. I also 'guess' I have seen some people who are passionate about power, over other people.

I don't know from where does this happiness come, why does somebody feel happy, but somebody does. And that thing which makes somebody happy again and again, doesn't matter how many times it is done, is Passion. (At least I have reached this conclusion)

Why ethics.

(Selfish,Ethics: Consider the generally prevailing definitions for the word)

What  usually is the reason given for the advice: 'don't be selfish'? Its just 'you shouldn't be selfish', or 'being selfish is bad'.
Why to help others? Coz it is a good thing.
Why give your seat to some old lady in metro? Coz it is good.
Be Honest. It is good.

I think these answers need a bit more explanation or maybe more.
How exactly could these 'good' and 'bad' things have started?
Obviously, if you help others, others will tend to help you, out of returning favor, or to make sure you keep helping the others. That is why it is a good thing. I used to feel bad when people said 'keep helping others, you never know hen you'll need somebody..', now I don't feel bad at all. I do feel good when I help some people,but I am not really sure of 'why'. Is it because I've been taught to feel good, or is it because I really do feel good. (I hope to get the correct answer asap!)

If you think only about yourself, why would anybody want to be with you!?
If you talk to somebody only when you need him (and he doesn't have anything to gain from you) why would he like you? That is why being selfish is a bad thing.

I have heard of people who say something on the face, but believe something completely  opposite! (i think we call them 'hypocrites'). Maybe they praise you on your face,for some uncountable things in you, but in reality hate you, and never tend to show it. That's like a crime! If somebody gets to know this about that hypocite, he is dead! People will stop believing him. That is why it is a bad thing.There is nothing wrong in doing this (just like nothing else is wrong), but it might only be bad for you. Since you hate that somebody, maybe you spill that out in front of somebody, then that somebody gets to know that you are a back-biter.. So your purpose (of, maybe, pretending to be good) fails!

If you are honest with people, those people will believe in whatever you say. They will trust you. There are moments when we feel the urge to lie, but that one lie might ruin the trust forever. Control yourself for that moment, and be honest. That helps in the future. (merko to accha bhi lagta hai, I don't know why. ) So you are being selfish.. but in a sense for which people won't hate you. That's why honesty is known as the best policy.
I also follow it. I have been doing it unknowingly since my childhood (age<=17) , and it always felt good. Now I also have some reasons. So feels better.

Save environment. That is for you! You will get better place to live in! That's why save water, electricity and stuff.
Donate blood. All ads which wanted us to donate blood always only told us to do it. There is this ad that came a few months before, it said 'Donate blood, kyunki accha lagta hai!' That's fine with me. You donate blood, ask everybody else to donate blood, that donated blood might just help you someday! (It is not because you are getting back the results of doing a 'good thing'!!)

Ye sab 'acchi aadatein' tabhi humare maa baap sikhate hain. Somebody might have started it, others might have followed. Maybe, slowly the reasons started fading away, and what remained was just 'good' and 'bad'. As a child, we were not allowed to question our elders. I expect that even they don't care about the reasons.
But now I think we should know why we are following some principles. In this context of ethics, the answer of  'why' (at least for me), is that we are selfish.
Or may be, as Ayn Rand says, some people wanted us to feel guilty, so as to gain power over us, so that we always look up to them for justification of everything... This explanation did come as a shock to me when I read The Fountainhead, but it does seem to be a correct explanation. And a bit too convincingly stated in the book. (That was in fact my favorite part!)

Similar explanations follow for murders, rapes, terrorism, child abuse and other stuff..

We  tend to forget these ethics when we really are in trouble, and then feel guilty. I don't think there is anything that should make anybody feel guilty... you just made it bad for yourself!