deshbhakti!

Anna Hazare nahin, hazaaron hain! - Gulzaar
masha allah kya baat kahi hai... But...

Anna hazare says that he has given his life to people, he LIVES for the well being of OTHER ppl!! Whats that!?
He says that he didn't have a reason to live, and he wanted to commit suicide, but he got inspired by the life of swami Vivekananda..the thing that the purpose of life is to serve others. Seems crap... Why would, and why should, i give my life for somebody else!
But dekha jaye to he feels happy by serving others. He is working to remove corruption, and that makes ME happy. Aur kya chahiye? I  wud want to say that he is an idiot if he says that he is living to serve others. (But Shit, the 'others' includes me too! )
Deshbhakti... thats the word used everywhere. The feelings of deshbhakti are fed into the brains of almost everybody i know!

"You should love your country!" - this sentence is believed to be a premise, but it is not! (thanks to Atlas Shrugged for giving me the word- premise) Say I try to export some arms to pakistani terrorists, (i won't, can't, do that!), you would hate me... why is that? u would say ' tu gaddar hai... !" just because for u it is a PREMISE! something that is 'true'! But kaun bola bhai? Being called a gaddar brings a feeling of guilt...(just because some people who wanted power over us..they make us feel guilty.. this thought came from The Fountainhead, copied as it is, and convinced to the fullest)

Sabse jyada to bewkoof sainiko(soldiers u know..) ko banaya jaata hai yaar... saara din yahi baat phoonkte rehte hain ki love ur country, die for ur country, sarhad pe jaan doge to jannat (!?) naseeb hogi... fakr ki baat hai sarhad pe jaan dena.. kyu bhai? This also becomes the reason for somebody to join the army! goli khaake aata hai koi soldier to ghamand karta hai...or at least feels proud...  can't understand this... if u die.. the game's over... then it might be nothing my friend..

Hum bhi kum bewkoof nahi banate unka.. We say that soldiers should get more salary.. they should be able to meet their expenses ....salaam thokte hain unhe...bas unme hawa bharne ke liye.. why? because we do not want to do the things that they are doing! they are protecting us! without caring for their lives.. aur hum unme hawa bharte hain ki jaao lado.. jaan de do.. par hamari jaan na jaane paye...
But even then, soldiers are happy for what they are doing. So nothing else matters. My only problem is , that i don't want anybody, to make anybody else WANT to die at the border. If it is their own choice, which i think will never be unless anybody else does some brainwashing, then if he wants to give his life for me, then who would be happier than me?

e...go...

A guy ,sitting on the driver seat. Another guy sitting beside him. 2nd guy says, yaar bag le aa, tu bhool aya. 1st one says, chod na...kahan gaadi beech me khadi karke jaunga... 2nd one... abe ek min to lagega, le aa na...
1st one.. main nahi la rha.. tu le aa... main jaunga to dikkat ho jayegi...

then the 2nd one says... abe tu dikkat ki vajah se nahi ruka, tu ruka hai ego ki vajah se. (angry he was!) then the 1st one drove the car,didn't bring the bag. Both quiet for a moment.

I was the driver, and ankur khurana was sitting beside me. I don't think he realizes the size(!?) of favor he had just done to me. I kept thinking about this for the whole day. He was so very right!
This was such a small incident. After this, i realized what this ego is.. Almost everywhere, in every conversation, (or rather, argument), it used to come before my eyes, blocked my mind. Everything that was said was just to prevent my ego from getting hurt, like 'searching' for reasons to prove myself right just because i spilled it from my mouth.
Very much in control from my side now, but it still happens. Still I realize after some time... and I don't like that feeling.
Many others too 'suffer' from this. I don't know if they know about this or not. I have met some who know it, but they are still continuing with it. I didn't ask why, (or may be I couldn't, don't remember why). I met one, who says ego honi chahiye, nahi to self respect khatam ho jaati hai. (I still don't understand what self-respect is!) I couldn't understand what he said. And as always, I didn't ask... Tell me if u have the answer...

I was quite happy to find something in me that 'I' hated, and I have the thing quite in control. (I still wonder how can people list out their 'negative' points! seems Meaningless! but i found one though...)


I hope many believe that ego is something that should be eradicated. It causes very much irritation sometimes when somebody is arguing with me, producing illogical logic. More is caused by realizing that I myself irritated somebody :P

destiny?

maktub!! (for those of have read the Alchemist) i.e. , its written, you can't change it. What has happened had been written in your destiny long ago, its written on your hands, on your forehead, and nobody knows where else! Its destiny!
Once again... Why??
Why do we say its destiny? Why has it been decided long ago?And who decided it? (of course God!... who?) But even if it is decided, how do you know it?
See its simple probability. You toss a coin, their are 50% chances each for head and tail. This doesn't need formal education, an illiterate (as defined by constitution) can see that its true.We can bias this coin, but putting some weight or something (that might require some literacy!) , so that there is 75% chance for head and 25% for tail.But still, it doesn't ensure that only head will come, there is also some probability for tail.

That's what it is in life that i see, everything is a probability. Agar gaadi 50kmph pe chal rahi hai to kuch chances hain accident hone ke, aur kuch chances hain nahi hone ke. Agar speed 120 kar di, to accident hone ke chances badhe hain (i hope u can see all the reasons for that..). This also doesn't mean ki accident ho hi jaayega. Aur agar ho gaya to kuch chances hain ki maroge, aur kuch chances honge ki bach jaaoge. (ye to conditions pe depend karega na..).
Bas agar accident ho gaya, to ye kyu kehte hain ki yaar kismat me likha tha.. ye kya baat hui. agar 50 ki speed pe hua tab especially yahi kaha jaata hai.
some think "accident hona hoga to 50 pe bhi ho jaayega, main to 120 pe chalunga". Ye sochke 120 pe chala rhe ho to yaar bewkoofi hai, because probability of accident to badh rahi hai... mar jaaoge! Agar ye pata hai ki chances badh rahe hain, aur mastibaaji me chala rhe ho, then i don't mind, because that's one's own choice :)

Ek aur cheez hoti hai, luck. Bad luck, good luck. Accident hua, Mera pair toot gaya, bad luck. Nahi toota, to good luck. We are defining luck as if it has been predetermined, par ye vo cheez hai jiska control hamare haath me nahi hota. It is almost impossible to 'bias' somethings.
If luck is defined for things that are not in our hands, and it is not said that it has been set by God or somebody... i don't mind.

death... why...why not...

/*I thought about this, but never thought about writing on this until i read this post on anurag gulati's blog (http://anythingcanhappenwhenyouareme.blogspot.com/2011/04/death-it-is-not-maybe-that-bad.html).*/

It might come to someone's mind (has come to some minds....) to just end it...  just end the life... be far away fom all the 'suffering' that is happening...or if someone dies, somebody else could say that the guy has gone to peace... forever... a long sleep.. its the best for him... seems totally incorrect to me.

somebody might believe in after life, but there is no reason to believe so. Just one more imagination from somebody's brain gone to become the belief of others. May be something is there, but u can't know it before dying! And after dying, there might be NOTHING! and  this is what i believe, that dying is the stoppage of everything in your body and nothing else. Death would not be freedom in any way, it will be nothingness...i mean it wont be anything... if i die... this means i am deleted.. nothing else...
I enjoy being on earth, being alive... and i want to be so... just like everybody but some...
If i want to commit suicide, just when i am about to jump, if i would just come back and wait for some days.. i think i would get new reasons to live... and i would do the opposite of repenting... (can't remember the right word!)

I heard a woman, saying that presence of somebody on earth is merely sufferings that somebody has to go through... Death is the best thing for somebody.. we should be happy if somebody dies because he is now free from everything... (She seemed to be a fan of OSHO.. i.e. rajneesh)
Now is there any reason that u can figure out for such belief? though i couldnt talk to her, i still think she had gone wrong somewhere. Just to remove the fear of death, someone had washed her brain... but i can't tell for sure because i dont know exactly what she meant...


I want to die satisfied, satisfied just when i move to my deathbed and not before that... all possible wishes of mine fulfilled... thats the best thing that could happen for me, not death.

whats right, whats wrong...

people 'should' be good, people 'should' respect their elders,people 'should' not indulge in any crime... and worst of all , people shouldn't be selfish..!
and so on...

'should' aur 'chahiye' jaise words ko to dimaag se nikal ke phaink dena 'chahiye'!!

what i want to say is, that how can anybody define what is right, what is wrong, what somebody should do, how somebody should think... ? will you define? are you seth?
(most of it is (as far as my brain says) linked to religion or god.)

take for example corruption. people take bribes, because they want to take it, and it is within their reach. I have seen people earning from bribes, and they spend some part of that money in 'good' things, like feeding the poor, donating and all.
not because they want any welfare of these people, but because they want their own satisfaction ki rishwat lene se 'paap' na lage.
Yaar karna hai to karo, and that too with very much clear conscience. No need to feel bad.
But Its our right that we stop you from doing this, to criticize you, and we will!!
(same is true for u too i suppose)

there are many who always keep on criticizing corruptions and all, but all signs of corruption are visible in them even at this stage... (i mean college me..)

These rights and wrongs are nothing but some things fed into our brains since our birth. (just like 'god'). If if at the age of five, you had been adopted by some terrorist, then u would have called terrorism as the best thing that happened to u! thats only because the stuff that now goes into your brains is different...
now you say that terrorists are wrong, then u would have said that people are wrong, jihaad vihaad ke liye lado.. allah naseeb hoga..
this way i think Everything, terrorism, murders , rapes etc... , everything can be justified.

i am not supporting them, mere saamne koi rapist aa gaya to main goli maar doon saale ko... but why would i? thats because of the surroundings i have been brought up in, thats what my parents, my school, movies, newspapers and so on have fed into my brain! Thats how my conscience has been built up.
would shooting such person would be right? i can kill him just because 'i' think raping is wrong?

I do what my conscience allows me to do... that can be anything... daan punya ya murder vurder... and conscience changes with time... today i might do stuff which i couldn't even think of some years back... Its all about being happy.

choti cheez lete hain...
kabhi kisi shopkeeper ko paise dena bhool gaye, you know u have not given the money, but the shopkeeper has forgotten it. Will you go and return the money? i do it (and by now you know why!) What if
somebody doesnt? is it 'wrong'? kisi ke dimmag me aa sakta hai ki shopkeeper is satisfied that he has made profit, so now i can keep the money. both satisfied, both happy, whats wrong?
and i don't mind at all!
but that will develop (some hate or may be disrespect) in me for that person... even more hate if he keeps preaching of the 'good' stuff and does this afterwards...


but we are selfish people, we want everybody to be like we want them to be, so we'll oppose corruption, we'll oppose terrorism...
But we have some laws... seedhe jaake jaan se to nahi maar sakte na... case vase karna padta hai...

also i think that laws have been built up keeping one thing in mind, that 'somebody' doesnt have any right over the life of 'somebody else'. and i find this quite justified. We've not been given the right to decide whats right or whats wrong. It all works according to the rule books.
(Thats also what i believe, and my conscience works on this principle only... equal opportunity for everybody... 'including me')

PS: please stop giving advice until asked for... nobody likes taking advise, everybody gives it, as if it is the best thing that is happening for the advice taker!
(although i havent seen many people doing this, but i have seen some.)