I am Above

(That song is just because I have stolen the title from this one. This doesn't have anything to do with the post.)

That happiness we feel, when we are feeling proud of ourselves. Isn't that proud feeling only because people admire it? So we feel happy because we did what other people wanted us to do?
I feel proud (only) when I do what I want to, I say what I want to. And I am able to prove myself right on this, i.e., I am able to prove to people that I am right. (Or if somebody else proves me wrong, I feel proud in accepting it :P) And so on, so many reasons.
(I don't think that it is hypocrisy... coz that is what 'I' want, and not what 'others' want..)
But why do I feel proud? Aisa kya ho gaya? And what exactly is this feeling of being proud? Doesn't being better than others at a thing makes you feel proud?
(Here, proud is just the feel good thing. It is not ghamand. Ghamand is totally denied! Completely illogical!)

Chalo,  there might be happiness in being better than others, and that proud feeling, might be a feeling, might not need explanation.

But I have a different problem. I have seen people fight over things, feeling their ego hurt over things, the things for which they are "proved" not to be better than somebody else. It becomes not about being better, but about showing that I am better. Ye kya baat hui! That means that you are trying to be somebody who you are not!  Worst thing ever...

If you are better, you'll be able to prove that you are. If you are not, you know that you are not.. why to prove the opposite! But ego takes over.. what to do... But I think it is a waste of time.

I have done it. As far as I know, I don't do  it now. I sometimes want to do it, but I try to realize what I am doing. And of course, if there might have been times in recent history when I have not realized it, I don't remember.